Gallagher, following lead of Rick Perry, Todd Palin and Chuck Norris, endorses Newt

Self-proclaimed comedian Gallagher announced Friday he is endorsing Newt Gingrich for president.

Gallagher said the former speaker shares his concerns about America’s cultural drift.

“Like me, he’s opposed to people naming their girl-children Sam and Toni instead of acceptable names like Evelyn and Betty: Just give her some little lesbian tendencies!” Gingrich would re-open Guantánamo Bay except this time “we’ll be allowed to torture all the way,” Gallagher said. “We had to half-torture—that’s nothin’ compared to what Saddam and his two sons OOFAY and GOOFAY did.”

Defending traditional marriage is another of Gallagher’s concerns. “Newt knows like I do there’s two types of lesbians — the ugly ones and pretty ones.” He’s also suspicious of “people like Cher’s daughter—figure that out. She wants a penis, but she has a big belly. If you can’t see your dick, you don’t get one.”

Most importantly, Newt doesn’t speak French, Gallagher said. “They ruin our language with their faggy words.”

Mitt Romney’s campaign shrugged off the Gallagher endorsement. “We’ve got Carrot Top,” said a top Romney adviser.

(quotes lifted nearly verbatim from a 2010 profile of Gallagher by The Stranger)

foursquare. I thought I’d receive some sort of tangible reward for check-ins. Don’t think I’ll be changing my business cards to add “Mayor of Taco Mac.”

Wolf Blitzer as a TV commentator. It takes him 10 minutes to break news, what with all the stammering and qualifiers.

The fascination w/ Beyonce. She’s as programmed as Romneytron.

How this video is NOT a parody. (They were “discovered” by boy band alum Lance Bass — in the cheesiest gay bar in Orlando, apparently.)

(via The Regular Guys)

Regardless, self-aggrandizing phonies annoy me.

More annoying people of 2011 here — check back for THE most annoying person(s?) of the year that was.

Meanwhile, I’m afraid there will be even more opportunities for Russell Brand to annoy me in 2012.

Give me Nipsey Russell.

More Annoying People of 2011 here.

• Letterman: “It’s not okay for you to say unfunny jokes where the bottom line is, ‘Isn’t Rosie a dyke?’”

Is she not?  What else is off-limits?

• Trump: “I remember during his tirade about me [a few years ago], I was expecting the National Organization for Women to say, “It’s not okay for you to do this.” But they didn’t. So then I figured, this go-round, I will be my own National Organization for Women. It’s not okay — it’s not okay.”

Deputizing yourself as the arbiter of okay is a feature shared by would-be fascists. Decide for yourself what’s acceptable but don’t expect the world to follow your rules.

Here’s a simple maxim: If you’re more offended than one of  the professional indignation councils, you’re a tad hypersensitive.

And you sure as hell aren’t a role model.

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• Rosie O’Donnell No Holds Barred HuffPost Interview (huffingtonpost.com)

Tow truck drivers should be offended

Just anti-obnoxious:

A week ago, following the announcement that Rosie was engaged to Michelle Rounds, Letterman mocked the speed of this decision during his show’s monologue, saying: “The woman she is marrying, her fiancee, was driving… and her car broke down. And guess what happened? Rosie pulls up right behind her in her tow truck.” …

Rosie then came up with the Top Five Reasons She Refuses to Appear on the Late Show (above), which included: “Not only do you appear to be anti-gay, you’re anti-tow trucker.”

Any coincidence her fiancee’s surname rhymes with Mounds?

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• WATCH: Rosie Sounds Off On Letterman’s ‘Anti-Gay’ Diss (huffingtonpost.com)