What, did you think I was going to share the lyrics for free?

“Them Was Better Times.”

1. Bureaucrats are generally spineless and;
2. Adults are often stupid.

Parents are upset after an article meant to be an April Fools’ Day joke in a school newspaper ended up calling President Barack Obama a Nazi.

The article was published in the newspaper at Sprayberry High School in Cobb County.

Students told Channel 2′s Ross Cavitt the article, entitled, “Top twenty reasons why Obama should not get re-elected,” in Sprayberry’s The Zinger was meant to be a joke.

Parents are upset not only by what the article said, but also that the faculty adviser approved the article to be published. Within the article, the newspaper listed reasons such as “He’s black” and “He’s a Nazi.”

How dare they grasp parody!

Predictably, school administrators felt it necessary to apologize.

“Unfortunately this was a poor attempt at humor (that) didn’t come across very well. The students have apologized for it. They sent out a video message to the rest of the school this morning and they posted a message on the school website as well,” Jay Dillon with the Cobb County School District said.

Predictably, that’s not good enough for the outrage mongers.

I don’t think there is any excuse for what was done and I don’t think that an administrator should have approved any such article to be printed in a school paper. I think it divides the students. It teaches them to dislike one another. It wasn’t appropriate at all,” parent Danisha Crummie said

Without Shirley Hemphill the show would’ve been called “Nothing’s Happening”

— Black Larry King (@BlackLarryKing) April 2, 2012

First, let me state that I am grateful for the fine folks here at Mostly Muppet Dot Com for the opportunity to rebut the claims of one M.B. Cluckerton – if indeed that is her real name – in this forum.

I should also lay the groundwork that I am speaking only on my own behalf and not at the behest nor with the express approval of Disney Muppet Global. The opinions expressed herein are my own and in no way indicative.

Gonzo

Having said all of that, give me a f@$%ing break!

You’re gonna believe some chicken$^!t chicken over your own two eyes?!

Please. If you wanna listen to that old clucker, I’ve got a lit canon you can inspect. Completely safe, I promise.

I’m not even that upset that M.B., who I knew as Mabel, chose to air what she believes to be the truth. I get being disgruntled, I really do.

I’ve never been the headliner of the old Muppet marquee (or the new one) and you don’t see me running to the press do you? No, you don’t.

Sure, I’m here now, but that’s because she made it personal when she mischaracterized herself as my “539th domestic partner”.

Lies. Utter lies.

As any idiot with felt eyeballs could tell you, I’ve been in a loving, monogamous relationship with Camilla for almost 40 years now.

Have things always been perfect? No.
Do I have a bit of a wandering eye? Who doesn’t.
Am I a poultry bigamist? No G0*&()! way! NO HOW!

Listen, Mabel was bit player who always showed up on time and hit her marks. There’s plenty of other gals, Ms. Piggy to name one, who couldn’t be bothered to rehearse with half as much heart as Mabel gave, but that’s show business.

Mabel didn’t like that sad fact and who can blame her. She’s out now and, hopefully, happier for it.

But to besmirch all our efforts and, especially, my good name well that’s beyond the pale.

And I’m the weirdo who conducted Liebesträume while battling a crab, so I know from talent, hard work and “beyond the pale” and you, madam, Mabel, M.B. – whatever the f@$! your real name is, have crossed the line.

Gonzo, formally known as “The Great Gonzo” or “Gonzo the Great,” is the resident daredevil performance artiste on The Muppet Show.

We here at Mostly Muppet Dot Com would like to sincerely thank Gonzo for his candid thoughts on this matter.

Also, go get a copy of The Muppets on DVD or Blu-Ray. You won’t be sorry. We promise.

;-)

For all the folks still reading:

1) Go home
2) This was all just parody. Please, if you’re Disney, don’t sue.

grimace was a dominant top

Thank God for the brave culture warriors leading the boycott of McDonald’s, which has aggressively promoted the gay agenda for more than a generation.

Certainly I wasn’t the only one who noticed the absence of females from McDonaldland. Ronald McDonald? More like Ronald McDandy. Grimace was an obvious phallic symbol (swollen penis, perhaps)? And what about Mayor McCheese’s oversized head? These sodomites aren’t subtle when it comes to recruiting your children.

“WOW!! Terrorism = Homosexuals = McDonalds What’s next McDonalds? Beastiality?” (via the Boycott McDonald’s site)

You know it’s coming

Sample dialogue:

“Give me liberty or give me Seka.”

“I cannot tell a lie. That was the best blowjob I ever received.”

Erotic and educational, the tea party porn collection will rebut leftist myths like the one about George Washington’s wooden dick.

It’s hard to remember why we love sports sometimes. Mark McGwire? More like Mark McLiar! And I’ll BCin’ ya, BCS!

But then… then you come across the story of Ripon College sophomore Danny Jennings.

You see, all Danny wanted to do in life was play basketball. Think YOU love hoops? Well, Wild H-O-R-S-E-S couldn’t drag Danny away from the game he loved! The boy would spend hours every day shooting free throws. Would stay out in the driveway all day until his mother chased him inside after dusk. He even came home during lunch every school day to practice his alley oop passes. You talk about LOBsessed!

A White House plane carrying Michelle Obama came dangerously close to a 200-ton military cargo jet and had to abort its landing at Joint Base Andrews on Monday as the result of an air traffic controller’s mistake, according to federal officials familiar with the incident.

I hear Bill Ayers was flying the First Lady’s plane.